Ok I think I am finally to the point where when someone asks "How are you?" or especially "How's the baby?" that I can say and talk about Beck without crying. It's such a weird thing when someone who doesn't know asks and I say that he passed away and then they look at me in shock and say I'm sorry...How are you suppose to respond? I usually mutter back "it's ok" or "thank you". What?! It's not ok and thank you??? come on! I guess Beck is ok now, he's not sick anymore and is at peace but it's still not ok...And "thank you" thank you for what, I don't know. I don't want Beck's death to be the elephant in the room and people scared to ask or talk about it because he deserves more than that.
So I've decided when someone asks and then says "I'm sorry"...I'm just going to say, "Thank you for asking about Beck, he was such a beautiful baby and we were blessed to have him. He was such a great boy and we had so much fun with him when he was here...Do you want to see pictures???" I want people to know Beck even though he's not here and not be sad but to see what joy he brought us. I want them to know how he truly touched so many while he was here and how he will continue to touch so many lives even though he is gone. Although it sucks and I miss him, I would do it all over again for Beck and I'm not going to talk about his life as a sad thing but as a positive and amazing blessing. So do you want to see a picture...
So I've decided when someone asks and then says "I'm sorry"...I'm just going to say, "Thank you for asking about Beck, he was such a beautiful baby and we were blessed to have him. He was such a great boy and we had so much fun with him when he was here...Do you want to see pictures???" I want people to know Beck even though he's not here and not be sad but to see what joy he brought us. I want them to know how he truly touched so many while he was here and how he will continue to touch so many lives even though he is gone. Although it sucks and I miss him, I would do it all over again for Beck and I'm not going to talk about his life as a sad thing but as a positive and amazing blessing. So do you want to see a picture...
8 comments:
That is an adorable picture of Beck.
I think you have come to a great realization with how to deal with people's questions or awkward responses. It is hard being on the outside and knowing what to say to a family or mother's who heart is broken. You have made a great decision to take comments in stride because they are definitely just unsure what to say.
Keep posting the pictures of your sweet Angel Boy. He is beautiful.
That is a great idea. I guess I have been doing that without knowing I was doing it. I am always showing his pictures and talking about how cute he was. I just need to add that he was also pretty great to hang out with.
Love always,
Grammy
i think that you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. You certainly were blessed to have Beck and he was blessed to have you & Forrest. We love you guys!
You are an inspiring family. I feel like I'm a better person for finding your blog and reading about Beck's life. What amazing little boy!
ITS BRANDI FROM NICU AKA CHAPELS MOM... YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN AND YOU HELPED ME GET THROUGH THE HARDEST TIME OF MY LIFE AND IN ALL REALITY I SHOULD HAVE BEEN HELPING YOU... YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO WOMEN ..I LOVE YOU GUYS ..
I love the pictures and videos of Beck. I never got to meet him but I know I will one day! :) I agree with mrosev14's comment...people don't know what to say and it sounds like you have decided the right response. Introduce them to Beck and they will rejoice with you in his life. There is no comparison, but with my loss in a miscarriage, I became angry at times in my heart when people would make such comments, or even worse, "well, at least it happened early on..." etc. As if the pain isn't still there just as much at any point in the death of a loved one! But I learned quickly that some people don't know such loss and are unsure how to react at all, but their intent is usually pure and compassionate. That's what matters and you can know that they care about you and your super boy to even be asking at all how yall are! Thanks so much for sharing your journey with others. You'd be amazed how (sometimes silently) others will learn and grow, be touched so, and heal also from hearing your story. May God bless and keep on keepin' on!♥
You make me want to go out and run a marathon, build a house, teach kids, and scream really loud like in Garden State. Sincerely, I feel stronger (inspired) by knowing Beck-Maximus. His story is such a legacy and it still burns strong...and will continue to do so with you showing pictures and pioneering the way for me and others on how to continue Beck's blessings.
I was at the airport yesterday and saw a young boy with special needs. From his characteristics I think he had CdLs. I suddenly realized that I felt a connection with him and his family. I felt like they weren't strangers. Before Beck, I might have glanced once at the couple and went along my way. But now I felt compelled to make eye contact with the parents, smile, and be near them. Beck has inspired me to learn more. There's a lot to learn on so many levels but I have him and you and Forrest to thank for opening my eyes to unknown blessings awaiting me. Thank you, mam.
I am knew to ds mama and just happened to click on your blog. Today was the first post that I read from you blog. Wow...you sound so strong. What a great thing it is to share your story. I am sorry for your loss.Beck sounds like a wonderful boy. I am sure you will help others that have gone through your same situation but who are not at where you are yet.
I can't honestly imagine what you have been through. My thoughts are with you.
Take care
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